misery01

rant

I've been losing way too many friends lately...
There is absolutely no reason for most of it. I stay in touch better with old friends from my childhood who live in a differant state than i do with people who were my best friends just a year ago. Its not that i thought that most of them would be in my life forever, but i thought some would be, or that at least there would be a real reason as to why we lose touch, but there really isnt. Alot of my friends did graduate from my high school so i did expect that we wouldnt have the same contact as we had before, but its summer so i thought we could at least spend this time together.I try to keep in touch any way that i can (myspace or facebook) but no one ever responds, or if they do all they say is that they've been busy. I've tried to call some of them but they're always either not home when i call, or if they have a cell phone there number has changed. One of my best friends moved to another town, not that far away, she is one of the few that i got a hold of one day over the phone and it really made me happy because i didnt want to lose her friendship. We even made plans for me to sleep over her house with another old friend of ours, When the day that it was sapposed to happen came, she didnt call.....i tried to call her and she didnt answer, I havnt talked to her since.
One girl who was my very best friend, the first person other than my boyfriend who i trusted enough to tell secrets to, also moved away. I continued visiting her for a while but eventually things started changing. Every time she would call me to hang out with her it seemed that she was only using my boyfriend and I for a ride to a boyfriends house, When they broke up, she stopped calling. I still talk to her online every once in a while but she has changed. She doesnt talk to me just to talk to me but instead to get out her fustrations. I dont trust her like I used to. She doent tell me anything anymore. She is pregnant now and she never even told me, i found out from her myspace when she was already about 3 months. I miss her so much.
Then theres my cousin, not only was she my cousin but a really good friend at one piont. I used to sleep over her house every weekend and tell eachother everything. Now where at the piont that she and her family hates me, when they arrive at family functions I have to leave. How did this happen? I cant even begin to know. She turned into a whore. For a while she went from one guy to another, people she didnt even know. Then she had a party period, she ran away from home, went to parties, did nothing really except drink and smoke pot. Then she seemed to be back to her old self for a while, until she went out with someone who used to be my boyfriends good friend. She then decided she hated me, she had told one of my friends that she hated me because I was a "spic", she told others it was because she thought it was wrong to be bisexual. really I dont know why she hates me now. She never had problems with me before, knowing all the time that I was Puerto Rican, and she had had many friends before this that were Gay, so I dont understand why that would change. She told her family lies about me and my boyfriend, and they beleive her because they are nieve. They think she is perfect, that she never does anything wrong. Once she got caught smoking pot and her family blamed me and didnt punish her at all. her family wont even look at me or if they do they look at me as if I am the enemy. She is engaged now, but I doubt it will last forever. Her "fiance" told me once that he just wanted what my boyfriend and I had, but they never will because they will never know what love is. They are together for all the wrong reasons, his heart is going to break because of her.
I know I kind of went off topic a few times, but these are all things I've wanted to get off my chest for a while now. I feel alot better. I know I dont need any of these people, I am better than them. I would never betray a friend, I would always stay loyal to them, and I will always stay true to myself....