well, the animals laugh from the dark of the wilderness, a baby cries hard in an apartment complex, as i pass in a car buried under the influence. the city's driving me out of my mind. i've seen a child, he's caught in the sad trap of gravity. he falls from the lowest branch of the apple tree and lands in the grass and weeps for his dignity. next time he will not aim so high. yeah, next time neither will i.
now a mother takes loans out, sends her kids off to colleges. her family's reduced to names on a shopping list, while a coroner kneels beneath a great wooden crucifix. he knows there's worse things than being alone. and so i've learned to retreat at the first sign of danger. i mean, why wait around, if it's just to surrender? and ambition, i've found, can lead only to failure. i do not read the reviews. no, i am not singing for you.
well, i stood dropping a coin into the pit of a well, and i would throw my whole billfold if i thought it would help. with all these wishes i make, i should buy something real, at least a telephone call home. well, my teachers, they built this retaining wall of memory. all those multiple choices i answered so quickly, and got my grades back, and forgot just as easily. but at least i got an a. and so i don't have them to blame.
well, i should stop pointing fingers, reserve my judgement of all those public action figures, the cowboy presidents. so loud behind the bullhorn, so proud they can't admit when they've made a mistake. well, poison ink spews from a speechwriter's pen. he knows he don't have to say it, so it don't bother him. honesty, accuracy, just popular opinion. and the approval rating's high. and so someone's gonna die.
well, abc, nbc, cbs, bullshit! - they give us fact or fiction, i guess an even split. and each new act of war is tonight's entertainment. we're still the pawns in their game, as they take eye for an eye, until no one can see. we must stumble blindly forward, repeating history. well, i guess we all fit into your slogan in that fast food marquee. red-blooded, white skinned, and the blues. oh, and the blues - i got the blues, that's me!
well, i awoke in relief, my sheets and tubes were all tangled, weak from whiskey and pills in a chicago hospital. and my father was there, in a chair by the window, staring so far away. i tried talking, just whispered, "so sorry, so selfish..." he stopped me and said, "child, i love you regardless. there's nothing you could do that would ever change this. i'm not angry, it happens. but you just can't do it again."
so now i try to keep up. i've been exchanging my currency, while a million objects pass through my periphery. now i'm rubbing my eyes, because they're starting to bother me. i've been staring too long at the screen. but where was it when i first heard that sweet sound of humility? it came to my ears in the goddamn loveliest melody. how grateful i was then to be part of the mystery - to love and to be loved. let's just hope that is enough.
when you said you love me, did you really love me? or did the words just spill out like drool on my pillow? because i was naked when you said those words, but i felt covered in your whispered worship. and as you pass out fast on my shoulder, i imagine a child, waiting so sad and still for his mom to arrive. did she leave you an orphan in that big brown leather chair? said, "don't you move a muscle, kid. i'll be back in twenty years." you were scared, you were lonely, but you must have been aware. life is a series of callouses, this is just another layer. so build them up, tough it out. yeah, that’s your skin. don’t let anyone under there. when you said you needed me, did you really need me? or was it just someone? oh, you’d take anything. am i first on that list of yours? or am i second or third? so who’s that ahead of me, some harlot from pittsburgh? or detroit? santa fe? or san diego? i know you’re so alone, but how much affection does one guy really need? did you date a lot in high school? were you always chasing girls? couldn't you find some young valentine to steal your heart for good? were you content or contemptible? are your memories pleasant? or is it a string of endless flings of bitter resentment? seems that what you want and what you need doesn’t mean a thing, we're just here for the taking. when you said you'd hurt me, did you think you'd hurt me? are you really that cocky? yeah, what a heartbreaker! well, i've got my armor. yeah, i've been through some battles before. and i met your old girlfriend. she said, "baby, don’t bother." she told me you told her you'd hurt her. funny, how familiar! so how much of this relationship was rehearsed? did you act out as a child? were you always crying wolf? attention starved, you tried too hard just to get someone to look. now you're the wolf in second-hand clothing. i'm the sheep in a pleated skirt. it's an awkward form of payback, but if it works for you, it works. it's that i recognize your off-white lies, still, i lie beside you, and that’s what really hurts. when you said you'd leave me... well, why haven’t you left me? what are we still doing here, so desperate for company? there's a greyhound on jackson street. there's an airport in council bluffs. hell, there’s a car in the driveway. fifty ways to get lost. but as i hold you and listen to you sleeping, i'm starting to wonder if i really believe that you'll ever really leave. would you leave me an orphan in your big brown leather chair? the one you’ve lugged around from town to town for all these years. it's the trophy of your childhood, like a shark tooth or gator skin boots. but this one holds you prisoner. it holds me prisoner, too. what we need to set us free is to let go of each other. let go of everything. when i said i loved you, it was because i loved you. when i said i needed you... well, i really need you. yeah, i guess you hurt me. for once you're a man of your word. well, guess what? i'm leaving. i can't be your prisoner. i won't be your prisoner.
she was okay, just a skinned knee. she came out of nowhere so i didn't have any time to try to avoid her. when you put a bicycle in a battle against a car, the car is bound to win.
