I love to cause myself physical pain, the pain I feel over-rides my brain. I forget the pain in my heart, the pain that slowly rips me apart... the pain you cause and others before you. I atleast know now your "I love you's" weren't true. How could I have been so blind? Why couldn't I see that you weren't different and that you would hurt me... Why did I open my heart to you? Why did I trust you? Why did you do this too me? Why did I let you corrupt me? i'm lost and confused in a world full of pain.... I called it... Things will never change. I actually trusted you the moment I left but i should have known I never get respect, and that you'd be like all the rest. Atleast you told me you didn't lie but a part of me wished you did because a part of me just died....
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You say I'm always happy, and good at what I do, but what you don't know is that I'm a good liar too. You don't know the real me, the dark mind, the feeling which are felt, but never spoken, the nothing self image that is seen. You say I'm beautiful but, how do you know? Maybe you see something I don't, but what about inside beauty? If you knew the real me, you would know I have no inside or outside beauty, I have a cold soul and hurting heart... So how can you say you know the real me? Do you see the one who cries? The one who enjoys life in the dark? The one who cannot trust? The one who finds it hard to love? The person who is nothing? Please don't say you knwo the real me, or who I will become because you never took the time to learn. Please don't say I'm anything because you'll never know, I am many things behind this mask, you see me as the person I pretend to be, the person you want me to be. But not who I really am!
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